So we have an opinion?

From facebook to twitter, from print media to television channels (national media (not regional)), all are reporting and propagating the same news (or perception) on same subjects repetitively that you can count on your fingers. Every issue cut down to anger/rage/nationalism/army. If you detach yourself emotionally and pay attention, they are no longer serving news, they are serving us emotions and filling their own pockets by sensationalising every single issue.

The list is topped by Kashmir, Pakistan and our Army.

There is no doubt that Kashmir is an integral part of India.

We don't have any idea how is life there, most of us never been to Kashmir and many of us never talked to local Kashmiris but still, we have an opinion about Kashmir. On what basis? On the basis of TV channels reports? Many of whom don't even have local correspondents? And those who project their opinions as the news (facts)?

If you really want to know but can't go there, at least read about Kashmir from different sources, read local stories from local people, know the views of people who were posted there in all these years(civil servants, police,local correspondents), check the backgrounds of all the stakeholders and then have an opinion and then show your nationalism.

Kashmir is a very complex and sensitive issue and all the stakeholders know about it. They want this problem to continue. If we think Kashmir issue is going to solve anytime soon then we are wrong, it is not going to solve, at least not in our lifetimes and there is a strong reason behind it. There is a whole ecosystem that will never allow this problem to get solved. Many people will be jobless. Just feel bad about the normal Indian citizen there. There can be temporarily peace and provocation like it always has been. It's all politics, make public emotional and get votes without showing any work on the ground.  Got the point? No?

Let me explain.

Just imagine, there is no Pakistan and Kashmir issue, there is no Naxalite and Hindu- Muslim issue, Imagine how much work politicians have to do to get votes from the public to come to the power. Poor guys!!! Then they must provide clean water, food, hospitals, education, employment and what not. And for every upcoming election, they must show improvement in these services. Poor guys!!!!!!

And not only politicians, what about our poor TV channels? What will they do?? Then they have to send their reporters to investigate the story, collecting evidence. But now they just have to get six, seven people in the studio that can increase their TRPs and one sensational issue on which all can shout and project to the public how much they care about us, our national security.

True Nationalists!!!!

Tears in my eyes !!!!!!! So much love for the country everywhere.

दौर

ये खामोशियों के शोर है,ये मदहोशियों के दौर है   
ये वक़्त कुछ नासमझ तो दिल भी थोडा चोर है
ज़हन मे कुछ चल रहा लबों पे कुछ और है
ये बचपने को तोड़ कर परिपक्वता का शोर है
कभी हँसी कभी नमी कभी ये मुख मौन है
मुझमे ये जो नया कोई बन रहा ये कौन है
ये वक़्त का ही हेर है या ख्यालों का ये फेर है
ज़हन मे उठते सवालों का इस दिल मे एक घेर है
सवालों के हैं बढ़ते सिलसिले पर जवाबों मे अभी देर है
समझ सके ना उलझनों को समझ का मेरी फेर है........

From a daughter

An innocent heart and a clear mind

She was just a girl but one of a kind

World had different thing to say

It had its own strange way

To made her realize she was not good enough

To made her feel she was not beautiful enough

When others were busy in telling her to behave like a girl

When others were busy in showing her way to be like a girl

She read, observed and learned to overcome her fears

She grew up and had her thoughts more clear

But there was always a support

He was always there, sometimes when she herself never thought

This man planned the first step towards change

Others called him impractical and insane

But He made sure her efforts never go in vain

She found him always by her side

In her father, She got her first and best guide

This generation has the guts to follow their heart

This generation doesn't know how to respect elders”, “They don’t know the meaning of commitment and relationships”, “This generation is losing our cultural values”, “They are following western culture” and many more statements we here every day from our older generations. Let me explain further.

This generation has the highest number of people who are moving back after completing their education in other countries. In past, most people returned at their retirement age or they permanently settled there. This is the generation who think we need to get skilled and utilize it to change the fate of our country.

This generation has the guts to follow their heart, breaking the social norms, challenging the caste system and religious ambiguity and animosity. Men are openly coming out in favor of feminism while women are coming out against the misinterpretation of feminism. There are people who are coming out for social and economic equality. There are people who are showing support against every kind of appeasement to any section of the society.

I know people made perception what is served to them by mainstream media and social media. Society was never in a perfect balance. There was never a golden period. There were always some superior and some weaker sections and that still exist.

When we have no logic left, we come up with the shield of culture and religion. Now, let us take these issues one by one.

We do know how to respect elders. But many of us stopped giving respect based on age, caste and class. You have to earn it. We can love you without any hesitation but we can’t respect just because you are older. After seeing uncles molesting girls of their daughter’s age, trying to lower girl’s marriage age, asking women to stop trying to be equal to men, daughters-in-law throwing their in-law out of the house, mother-in-law forcing the new girl in the house for the sex-determination test, what kind of reaction you expect from us?

Many men from this generation understand the drawbacks of patriarchal society so they know how much important it is to empower the women. This generation understand the consequences of oppression. We are facing the consequences in terms of reservation system and appeasement policies. We are fed up with this religion, caste and gender based norms.

Moreover, what is happening today (all the crime, violence, cruelty, crime against women) is because of some people who are still not accepting the change which is in its initial phase.  We are a transition generation, coming generations will make sure what has started should reach its destination.

Now, let us talk about relationships and commitments.  As I always say no society is perfect. Not all people from previous generation were loyal or committed, same thing exists now. The only difference is that now people don’t force themselves into relationships. They give time, they put efforts, if it is not working then preserve your self-respect and just leave. No more abusive or forced relationships.

I heard somewhere this line which I believe is true “If nobody is forcing you to stay with someone and you still stay it means you really want to be there”. Forcing people into marriage (physical/mental abusive) just for the sake of pride/social norms, is not at all acceptable.

And now comes the best part. This generation is losing cultural values. And who is responsible for that? Which culture? Which worship Radha-Krishna but kill couples who dare to marry their choice, that worship goddess (females) and have the record rate of female foeticides, sex-ratio, rape cases?

And the irony is whenever anything like this happens you have solutions like Reduce Girl’s minimum marriage age; don’t let girls out after 6pm. In short, humiliate the victims so that they will never dare to vocal about it.

Give us something to proud and we will follow but we are not going to follow anything blindly. We do love our regional languages, food and music. We read Ramayan, Mahabharat, Gita , Swami Vivekananda, Buddha and much more.

We were a nation of seekers and not believers. We will follow that culture and not what is convenient to you all. We will question everything that is being taught to us, we will read about it, search and research.

And don’t worry many of us still are blind followers, login to twitter, facebook and you will feel better. They are leading your culture.

We are not following western culture. We have become global citizen. Like you changed our ancient culture according to your convenience, we will take best of other cultures because we have to compete with the world.

We are the generation who believe in playing the game and win. If someone will brag about their latest technology and good laws, we will no longer reply with the comeback like but we have better culture than you (Which is such a bad argument. No culture is good or bad. It may be different from our culture). We will show them we also have latest technology (if you get my point).

Give us guidance, give us ground to return back in case we go too far, show us how great you were but don’t force us to blindly follow. We are ready to make our previous generations proud but our elders should also respect our choices and decisions.

चन्द पंक्तियाँ कविताओं की और

हक़ीकत और सपने

हक़ीकत और सपनो मे फ़र्क है कितना

तेरे कहने,करने और जज़्बे मे दम है जितना

कह कर गुज़र गयी हवा भी सूखी मिट्टी से

मैं उड़ा दूं जहाँ तक तेरा सफ़र है उतना

तूफान भी हिला ना पाए जिसे दृढ़ रख हौसला उस चट्टान सा

नाराज़गी या कुछ और

अजीब हैं हम तो शायद कम तो आप भी नही

एक दूसरे की समझ की किताब मे एक से पन्ने पर भी हम नही

अच्छे वक़्ता हम नही और बाकी समझ सके आप भी नही

कभी लगा की दूरियों का असर है कभी लगा की हमारी बेवकुफ़ियों का सफ़र है

पर जब आप बोल गये कुछ यूँ तो जाना ये तो अलग ही मंज़र है

सफ़र जिसमे आप शायद हमसफ़र बने नही

और हम अपनी नाराज़गी ज़ाया करते रहे यूँही

अब वक़्त पर और आप पर छोड़ते हम भी

जितना था बोलना बोल चुके अपने बारे मे लिख चुके लंबे खत भी

अब आपके सवालों और आपकी दिलचस्पी का इंतेज़ार रहेगा

अब आपके उपर ही इस सफ़र को बढ़ाने का दारोमदार रहेगा

साथ हम तो दिखेंगे हर बार ही पर अब से हर कदम पहले आपका बढ़ेगा

इस सफ़र के हमसफ़र होने मे आपकी दिलचस्पी का इंतेज़ार रहेगा

Please don’t make your children feel guilty for having their own dreams and thoughts

“OMG !!! Such a beautiful painting”, I said. After that she showed me all the work she created. I can see the spark in her eyes. Every painting had a story or a person behind it. Then she said I can sing also. I can sing now, if you want. How could I say no? After that so many songs, so many paintings, tunes on guitar and much more, I have seen and heard.

She told me how much she loves painting and music. I asked, “Then what you doing here in engineering idiot”.  And again the same story!!! because my parents wanted me to do this. She was pursuing her masters in an area which she doesn’t like.

She feels frustrated at times but could not gather enough courage to pursue her dreams. Everyone will say, “Then, it’s her mistake. She should have enough courage”.

But it’s not only about the courage. Our upbringing has a lot to do with it. We are raised like this. If you go against your parents, they will be hurt and when they are hurt you start feeling guilty and if you are guilty, you will lose your morale. Once you feel you are not morally correct, you can’t do your best, even if you have capability to do that. Some people can overcome that feeling and excel but many cannot.

This is not the only case, there are so many children just doing what they were asked to do for the sake of making their family happy.

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts……… from “Wings of fire”

Dear Parents,

You are undoubtedly the best people for your child. You always want them to be happy and successful. You are always there when nobody is and you will love them all your life and most of the times compromises your happiness and needs over their happiness and their wishes.

The only problem is how you pursue your goal of making your kids happy and successful. I know you people know this world better; you have experience of number of years greater than your child’s age.

But what is success?? Getting good grades and then pursuing a career which will payback in good amount of money. A big house, big car, getting married, having children and then repeating the same circle of raising their kids and so on. This may be true to many but not to all. Everyone has their own definition and meaning for success and happiness.

Nowadays, most of you want your child to top and to win in every competition, every activity they participate. Some of you even pressurize them to a great extent and if they can’t fulfill your expectations you compare them with others, diminishing their effort and making them feel inferior. May be unknowingly, but you do. These competitions were started to build sportsmen spirit, team spirit, and leadership qualities in your children and so if they win its good and if not, that is also good enough.

Not all children have same IQ. Some are good at sports, some at studies, some have creative minds they have different view towards things and people.

With all due respect, you choose their career on the basis of your past experiences and social norms, which I feel is not good. Some of you don’t want to be embarrassed in front of your relatives and friends. And some of you have an unfulfilled dream that you want your kid to fulfill.

But they are different human beings; they are born with their own mind and heart. That’s natural; we can’t do anything about it. They will have their own thoughts and dreams. Please don’t make them feel guilty for having their own dreams and thoughts which, sometimes, are not in sync with yours.

If you are lucky, may be their talent, dreams and happiness goes hand in hand with your expectations. But that’s the rare and the best case.

Your children’s mental health is more important than their grades. Frustration, stress and other negative feelings destroy your children’s personality. They grow up as unhappy people. And you cannot pour from an empty vessel. In the process, they lose self-confidence and lose love for you too.

I have seen so many people who live in other cities hardly feel going back home. They feel free; they feel they don’t have to listen to all the lectures time and again. They go only when they have no other option.

Do you want your children to treat their home as jails?  And what type of bonding you expects from it. When relationships become duty, it loses the spark and meaning. Then you do things because you should do and not because you want to and because it makes you feel happy. That is not what you want or what we want. 

Love them (that you always do), encourage them, guide them but don’t pressurize them. Don’t let your insecurities overpower your trust on them; don’t let your fear overpower your vision you have for your children.

Let them enjoy life to the fullest. Don’t compare them with your any Sharma Ji’s son, if they are doing their best as per their capability. When they will be happy, they will spread happiness and you will be happy to see them happy. And a happy man is always efficient and courageous.

This post is dedicated to someone. So darling!! if you read this till the end, these lines are for you................

You are beautiful the way you are
You are unique Because you were created to be the way you are
I can't be you and you can't be me
Because you are beautiful the way you are
You are not here to be someone else
You are here to be what you are
Sure you need to improve, but so we all
But always remember you are beautiful the way you are

    

अच्छा लगता है

माँ ने कहा बच्चों से

अच्छा लगता है तुम घर आते हो

कुछ वक़्त मेरे साथ बिताते हो

मेरी सुनते हो अपनी सुनाते हो

मेरी जवानी अपना बचपन याद दिलाते हो

पिता ने कहा बच्चों से

अच्छा लगता है तुम आते हो

तुम्हारी माँ की आँखों मे खुशी देते हो

मुझे फिर से बाज़ार जाके तुम्हारे लिए कुछ लाने का मौका देते हो

इस घर को फिर रोनकों से भर देते हो

दादी ने कहा पोती से

अच्छा लगता है तुम आती हो

कुछ वक़्त मेरे साथ बिताती हो

मेरी एक ही बात बिन शिकायत कितनी बार सुन लेती हो

तुम बार बार आया करो

भाई ने कहा बेहन से

अच्छा लगता है तुम आती हो

हमारा बचपन,वो नोक-झोंक फिर से याद दिलाती हो

इस घर को फिर एक बार पूरा कर जाती हो

वो आंटी हर बार कहती थी

अच्छा लगता है तुम आती हो

कम बोलती हो पर मेरी सुनकर मुस्कुराती रहती हो

तुम नही आती हो तो कह नही पाती हूँ अपने दिल की

तुम आया करो

उसको साथ बिठाकर बस एक बार खाना खिलाया था

अच्छा लगता है जब हर बार मुझे देख कर एक लंबी मुस्कान देता है

कहता है अच्छा लगता है आप जब भी दिखती हो

अच्छा लगता है उसकी सुनना जिसकी सुनने वाला कोई ना हो

दो प्यार भरे बोल के बदले जो स्नेह मिलता है

उसकी तुलना किसी से ना हो

भागदौड़ भरी ज़िंदगी से कुछ पल चुरा कर

थोडा ठहर कर ज़िंदगी का लुतफ लेना

अपने-परायों से स्नेह से मिलना

उनको अपने वक़्त का साझीदार बनाना

अच्छा लगता है

बस अच्छा लगता है